Facebook Lists Real Estate

Finding People to Cook With

How do you organize your friends on Facebook?

The friends you are connected to on your personal profile represent your sphere of influence. The relationships that you have here need to be weighed and treated differently. It’s a mistake to give exactly the same to content to every person in your sphere because… because the relationships are different.

One of the things we work on with our clients during our 90 Day Facebook Program is to establish 3 lists based on relationship weight. We have them create:

  • A Dinner Invite list
  • A Dinner Regular Lis
  • A Chef’s List

Explaining these Lists

Your Dinner invite list represents new friends; people who are just entering into your sphere of influence. They could have come via a mutual friend request, an offline meeting, via your facebook Page or via a community group… but by default they are new and the only way to get to know them better is to invite them to dinner… hence Dinner Invite List…

But wait.. I don’t actually mean “Dinner.” In this analogy/metafor the food represents your content, and in many ways your content is your brand.

It pays to give new people special attention; to introduce them to your voice and your message… do they resonate? Do they share similiar values? Do they have common interests? Are they in a similiar life stage? In many ways the question you are asking a new person is this…

“Would I enjoy having them sit at my actual dinner table?”

The only way to find this out is to genuinely be yourself, to speak and to listen, and then see how they repond… If there is signficant resonance then they belong on your next list…

If you have a good dinner experience with a guest you tend to invite them back AND the more they sit at your dinner table the more you get to know them… the deeper your relationship becomes. This is a metafor for the engagement process.. It ‘s your content creation, it’s your commenting, sharing, liking interactions and more. If a person is repeatedly and positively engaged with your content then they belong on your Dinner Regular List.

Now it is great to have really high levels of engagement on Facebook and there are a number of things we can do to supercharge your engagement so that it is at least 10X it’s current level… but that means nothing, zilch, nada, zero if all it means is a bunch of online attention. No, instead you must move people who are regulars at your dinner table to an even deeper level of relationship… and it is here that I want to introduce to you, your most important list of all… your Chef’s List.

Your Chef’s List

When someone is truly engaged, when they have fully grabbed ahold of the values and ethos of your brand… they are quickly becoming a team member, a referral partner, a person who would do anything to help you. So why did we name this, “your Chef’s List”?

Because these people are ready to cook for you (and you for them) and you can really cement this relationship by including their voice in your content. What does this look like?

It looks like any of the following and more:

  • You feature them on your blog
  • You interview them for your Facebook Community
  • You quote them in your content
  • You guest blog for their business/facebook community
  • You make them an administrator of your page
  • You meet regularly with them offline, on the phone, for coffee and who knows… maybe even dinner.


Now the more people you have on your Chef’s list, the more referrals you’ll get, the healthier your business will become. And this is how you should use every social channel, not as a broadcast channel (with a small audience) but instead as a place of connection where you can systematically and quickly grow both your relational equity and your business.

Hit me up with any questions via email or in the comments on the blog here

One thought on “Finding People to Cook With

  1. I like that there is a “system” and a “process” in building relationships, which results in loyalty and trust with the people one interacts with. It’s a marathon, not a sprint to the finish line. Thank for your sharing.


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